Pity Party City
Today I went to Party City to look for supplies for Nathan's first birthday party. Somewhere in between the boy birthday party supplies and the first birthday party supplies it hit me, my baby is turning one.
I have been looking through party themes for his first party since he was only a few months old. It was always fun to think about what I would choose for the party that was so far away in the future. Now it is here and the reality is setting in. That tiny baby that lived inside of me and changed my life forever will be a year old in just over a month. Soon he will be drinking from a cup instead of a bottle and will be drinking cow's milk instead of my milk. He will be walking and talking and people will see a toddler instead of seeing a baby.
Ray is excited; being a year old is one year closer to G.I Joe's and Nerf Guns. He can't wait to play outside with him and wrestle around. Ray is positive about looking forward to the future and not being sad about the past. Part of me is excited for this new milestone too. I look forward to watching him take his first wobbly steps and I cannot wait to hear him say mommy for the first time. The other part of me isn't ready yet. I don't want the baby fat to thin out and I don't want that first haircut to make him look like a little boy instead of a little baby. That part of me wants to hold him in my arms and feed him to sleep every night.
I know that no matter how much I want to I can't stop him from turning one. He is going to grow up much faster than I want him to and there is nothing I can do about it. But I know that when he turns one I will still look at him and see that little baby I held in my arms on the day he was born. I will never forget what he looked like when he stared up at me and knew I was his mommy and he was my baby. To me he will always be that little baby and that is what I have to hold on to no matter how old he is.
I have been looking through party themes for his first party since he was only a few months old. It was always fun to think about what I would choose for the party that was so far away in the future. Now it is here and the reality is setting in. That tiny baby that lived inside of me and changed my life forever will be a year old in just over a month. Soon he will be drinking from a cup instead of a bottle and will be drinking cow's milk instead of my milk. He will be walking and talking and people will see a toddler instead of seeing a baby.
Ray is excited; being a year old is one year closer to G.I Joe's and Nerf Guns. He can't wait to play outside with him and wrestle around. Ray is positive about looking forward to the future and not being sad about the past. Part of me is excited for this new milestone too. I look forward to watching him take his first wobbly steps and I cannot wait to hear him say mommy for the first time. The other part of me isn't ready yet. I don't want the baby fat to thin out and I don't want that first haircut to make him look like a little boy instead of a little baby. That part of me wants to hold him in my arms and feed him to sleep every night.
I know that no matter how much I want to I can't stop him from turning one. He is going to grow up much faster than I want him to and there is nothing I can do about it. But I know that when he turns one I will still look at him and see that little baby I held in my arms on the day he was born. I will never forget what he looked like when he stared up at me and knew I was his mommy and he was my baby. To me he will always be that little baby and that is what I have to hold on to no matter how old he is.
To me he is perfect.
