The Perfect Balance?
When I got offered to go back to work part time after my maternity leave I thought I hit the jackpot. I thought that I had found the perfect balance between working mom and stay at home mom. I knew that my stay at home mom friends often got bored at home all day and missed work. I also knew my full time working mom friends hated being away so often and missed their kids. I thought part time work would be the perfect balance and I happily accepted. For the most part I do like working part time. I still am with Nathan more days than I am not but I get to get out of the house, do my makeup, put on nice clothes and have adult conversation with coworkers and friends. But then I have weeks like this week...
This week I ended up working late and having less time with Nathan at night than usual. I worked late because I was trying to fit a full load of work into a three day a week schedule. In that same part time schedule I had to fit in two doctors appointments and listen to a lot of teasing about my "bankers hours." I didn't have enough time to go to the store for the light bulbs or laundry soap I needed and I barely had enough energy to throw dinner together.
When I accepted part time work I had no idea how hard it would be to work part of the time but produce work for full time people. I didn't realize the pressure that would be on me to accomplish things in 3 days that normally took 5. I also had no idea how often I would have to defend myself against comments about not being able to handle working a full week or kicking back more days than I worked. This week I faced all of these things; this week was extremely frustrating.
Tonight I was about to sit on the couch with my ice cream, bad DVR TV shows and have a nice little pity party. I was close to letting the tears fall when I made myself stop. In this economy I am blessed to have a job at all, let alone a job that I actually like (most of the time) and that allows me to see my son two days more a week than most. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and caring mom who take great care of Nathan when I am at work. I am blessed to come home to a dog that is excited to see me each and every time I walk thru the door (no matter how long I was gone.) I am also blessed to have a son that gives me big, open mouth kisses every time I leave and come home and who has a smile and a laugh that can erase a stressful day quicker than I ever knew possible.
I wish that I knew how to get everything done at home, give my undivided attention to Nathan, be a great wife to Ray and owner to Atari, and produce work I am proud of all of the time at my job. I don't know what the perfect balance is or if it even exists. What I do know is that God has blessed and provided for me completely and even if He doesn't give me all of the answers He has given me exactly what he wants me to have and I need to learn to be ok with that.
A mom friend of mine posted a quote that I think every mom needs to hear, I know I needed it,
"You can do anything, but you can't do everything."
This week I ended up working late and having less time with Nathan at night than usual. I worked late because I was trying to fit a full load of work into a three day a week schedule. In that same part time schedule I had to fit in two doctors appointments and listen to a lot of teasing about my "bankers hours." I didn't have enough time to go to the store for the light bulbs or laundry soap I needed and I barely had enough energy to throw dinner together.
When I accepted part time work I had no idea how hard it would be to work part of the time but produce work for full time people. I didn't realize the pressure that would be on me to accomplish things in 3 days that normally took 5. I also had no idea how often I would have to defend myself against comments about not being able to handle working a full week or kicking back more days than I worked. This week I faced all of these things; this week was extremely frustrating.
Tonight I was about to sit on the couch with my ice cream, bad DVR TV shows and have a nice little pity party. I was close to letting the tears fall when I made myself stop. In this economy I am blessed to have a job at all, let alone a job that I actually like (most of the time) and that allows me to see my son two days more a week than most. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and caring mom who take great care of Nathan when I am at work. I am blessed to come home to a dog that is excited to see me each and every time I walk thru the door (no matter how long I was gone.) I am also blessed to have a son that gives me big, open mouth kisses every time I leave and come home and who has a smile and a laugh that can erase a stressful day quicker than I ever knew possible.
I wish that I knew how to get everything done at home, give my undivided attention to Nathan, be a great wife to Ray and owner to Atari, and produce work I am proud of all of the time at my job. I don't know what the perfect balance is or if it even exists. What I do know is that God has blessed and provided for me completely and even if He doesn't give me all of the answers He has given me exactly what he wants me to have and I need to learn to be ok with that.
A mom friend of mine posted a quote that I think every mom needs to hear, I know I needed it,
"You can do anything, but you can't do everything."
