Babysitting?

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I was sitting on the floor in Nathan's room playing with one of his trains while he chewed on a block and I stopped to watch him for a while.  Even after 11 months it is sometimes hard to believe he is actually mine.  It blows my mind to look at his fingers and toes and know that Ray and I created him.  When I see his veins or watch his chest rise when he takes a breath I am amazed to think that his organs developed inside of my body and I kept him nourished for 9 months.

I have sat on the floor with many kids while babysitting them and had a great time.  I have cared for them and laughed with them and I have even loved some of them but they always went home at the end of the day.  When I was just sitting there playing with Nathan I was reminded of being a babysitter.  I wasn't thinking about feeding him dinner, then giving him a bath, changing his diaper, nursing him, reading to him, and putting him to bed, I was simply playing.  Then I stopped to think about it, God gave Nathan to me.  I am not just babysitting anymore, Nathan is mine 24/7.  I have been trusted to love him, care for him, make decisions for him, and help to provide for him.  When he is hurt or scared he relies on me to comfort him.  He looks to me for food and for his needs.  I am Nathan's mom, he needs me and I am more than happy to give him all that I can.





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